Wednesday, 17 June 2015

Taking the Trickle

Yeh, this is right! It's on the interweb! Don't you know? Huh! Losers!
I know since the story broke in the USA about the white woman who claimed to be black there has been a global debate about societal categorisation and the limits to self-designation. To what extent can you declare yourself to be something others may not believe is valid?

Well, whatever the merits or demerits of the US cases, I've decided to try it for myself here in the UK.

So, from next month, I am self-designating as a multi-millionaire.

I'm not, as such, a multi-millionaire, but why should that matter - don't judge me!

My new tax adviser? What do you think?
So time for me to enjoy the opportunity to:

(a) not pay my taxes

(b) get away with not paying my taxes

(c) be thanked for not paying my taxes

(d) be encouraged to not pay tax in the future

(e) continue to receive the same, or even better, public services as the "little people" who pay tax (c) Leona Helmsley 1989

Wow, what a great look I'll have!
(f) be given a wadge of taxpayers' money if I run out of my own cash (even though at that point I'm technically not a millionaire)

No matter my skills, or lack of them, or crass stupidity, I can expect to be fawned upon, listened to, offered stuff and excused for all sorts of anti-social behaviour and callousness.

Breakfast will be brilliant!
My breakfast!

And I won't need to rush out to work afterwards - because other people will be doing that for me! My people!

I'll also not have to carry cash or pay for services from people who should be glad to merely imagine I am trickling down upon them.

I'll certainly be taking the trickle.

As for the rest of you... tighten your belts and stay at home on Saturday.

You ain't see this!

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